CUSHING'S AWARENESS DAY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. HARVEY CUSHING!!!!!

 

With today being Cushing's Awareness Day, I thought I would updated my blog.

 

412 days ago today I had an operation on my pituitary gland to remove the tumor that had changed my life forever. Although it has been one "crazy" journey, it is one that I don't think I would ever change. 35 days ago, I had a follow up appointment with the Neurosurgeon who performed the surgery. TUMOR IS GONE!! Having him tell me that himself was one of the most amazing feelings, and I am so grateful to have worked with such a wonderful team of medical staff.

The past couple of years have been such a roller coaster, between surgery and my emotional ups and downs, lets just say its been exhausting. It's time that I take control of who I am. I haven't only exhausted myself but I have exhausted those who mean the most to me.

Cushing's Disease is exactly how they say, "UGLY"! I hope that more people become aware of this extremely rare disease. I caught mine quick and I hope the next person can catch it even faster.

 

Happy Cushing's Awareness Day!

 

<3

 

 

 



Second Half Marathon

My second half marathon...

Last month I ran my second half marathon! Not nearly ready, with very little training I ran this race to prove to everyone that anything is possible. I could have been sitting on the couch feeling bad for myself but instead I got up and ran my second half marathon only 5 months post surgery.

Jaylee and I morning of the race!

Group of girls I ran with, just moments before race time.

 

This race was more difficult then my first half but I was determined to finish...



4.1km to go! Just about hit the point of exhaustion here!

 

as I had to walk the majority of the last 4.1 km, my mother in law Randie Mulligan came to meet me about the last km of the race to run through the finish line.

 

FINISHED!

 

I cant stress enough how much I encourage everyone to get out there and just go for their dreams. Anything is possible if you just put your mind to it. I still struggle everyday with running and exercise. I get tired easily but I just try! :)

I am currently working towards my third half marathon in just over two weeks, however I may have to cut back and just run 10km but that's OK! I will strive to do my best for Disney 2014 and run an even better race. 

I know its extremely difficult for even those who are close to me to understand what Im going through but I know that in time everything will be OK, so I just have to understand them. It truly is a struggle everyday to "pretend" to feel perfect when in reality I don't but I still put a smile on my face and treat each day as a gift.

 

 

Happy Running!!!

 

SEAWHEEZE - VANCOUVER 2013



 





... recovery cont.

Its been just about 5 months exactly since I had my pituitary tumor removed and I must say its been a long road. I have been feeling much better but there has been a lot of ups and downs along the way. I'm still currently taking the steroids and trying to slowly wean myself off of them so hopefully with time I can come off them completely but for now they are part of my life and I accept that!! :)

I have been doing a Military style Bootcamp and FINALLY for the first time in 2 years I am getting the results I want to see. I just need to keep focused and not let anyone or anything get in the way of my goals and dreams. Let me tell you, watching the number on the scale get smaller is the BEST thing this girl could ask for right now!

There are still days that I don't feel myself but that's expected with my recovery. This has impacted my life emotionally in a large way. Every time I think about what "I went through", it makes me realize how much I grew as a person. From now on it will only make me stronger and I know in the end it will all be worth the pain and the struggle.

As well... 2 weeks ago I completed my first 5km of the year! It was a fun one but a great way to start! And who said Cushie's couldn't run!?

 

 

To all the other Cushie's out there... whether your still going through the process of all the tests, diagnosed, waiting for surgery, in recovery or struck with this again...

DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So many times I wanted to give up along this journey because I was so lost and didn't know what to do but deep down I knew somewhere there would be happiness with all of this and now I am so happy that all of this happened to me and I feel so blessed. There were many times I would wonder "WHY ME?!" but now I know this happened to me for a reason!

I am registered for 2 more races this summer which are both half marathons! If I can do this anyone can so please don't give up on your dreams!

I also just want to say a big THANK YOU to my Mother in law, Randie!! She inspires me to run everyday!! I did Color Me Rad with her (see below) as well, I will be completing my other races with her. We even registered for DISNEYLAND in January!!!!!! I am so excited for this!!

I will continue to write about my journey along the way...
From One Cushie to another, STAY STRONG!!! :D

Gail *xox*

Recovery

Recovery...

Recovery is a lot longer and a lot slower then I ever thought it would be.

Today I am exactly three months from my pituitary surgery.

 

I knew the road would be long but I think I expected a little to much. I knew I wouldn't feel right and I wouldn't just drop the weight that I gained but I honestly thought things would happen a lot faster then they are. That's O.K. When they say you feel like a wet noodle after, that's EXACTLY what I feel like.

Since my surgery:

I have been to emergency with extreme nausea caused by steroid withdrawals, and also with high blood pressure problems.

I have been up and down with my steroid doses.

I have seen an eye doctor twice to make sure they didn't hit any nerves while doing the surgery.

I have seen my Neurosurgeon for post op follow-up.

I have seen my ENT to get my nasal passage way cleaned out, I will continue to see him.

I have been to my family doctor for follow-ups.

I have also been to my Endocrinologist numerous times. I will continue to see her for a while to come. I have to be closely monitored with my blood work and growth hormones.

*Fingers crossed they stay normal!!* 

 

One thing I took on myself is acupuncture, I have only been to 2 sessions so far and I feel like they are helping with my healing process. I was a nervous to try this at first but having a couple needs is nothing compared to having blood taken or better yet, having someone dig in your nose. Acupuncture is something I believe I will continue for years to come :)

 

I still cant believe this whole journey and what has come to me. Everything has happened so fast but it has also been such a long road. I now know that this is something that is going to be with me for the rest of my life and it is something I have learned to accept.

 

I'm not going to let this get in the way of any dreams or goals I may have.

The tumor had control of my life for so many years that now its my turn, Its my turn to take control of everything that has happened and show everyone out there especially those suffering with Cushing's Disease that you can get past this awful disease and you can be exactly who you want to be. My dream is to do just that! <3

Cushing's Disease took so much from me and hurt me in so many ways that I cant even describe. Cushing's Disease doesn't change who you are on the inside but in some cases like mine it changes you on the outside. Cushing's Disease is just a little evil part of a persons life that changes the appearance in the most terrible ways. Everyone now a days judges a person on their outer beauty but its the inner beauty which matters the most. Cushing's Disease brought out the complete worst in me, from my appearance to my mood swings to my anxiety and much more.

There are some pretty amazing people who have stood beside me through every part of this, even before knowing I had this disease. Those who have stood by my side before, during and after are my rocks. Its those people who help me every single day.

 

This whole process has had a huge effect on my life and inside hurts me so much. It has hurt every single day. Getting the diagnoses hurt, although finally having an answer was so nice. The process leading up to surgery and even after. There are even times now that inside I can not describe the pain that I feel. Emotionally, Cushing's destroyed me! No more, I cant deal with the hurt anymore and now ...I will destroy Cushing's.

I am finally starting to feel normal again so its now my time.  

 

I also want to Thank everyone in my life who has been there supporting me every step of the way. Everyone who has helped me out with my healing. I know I already sent out a Thank you but I thought I would mention it again as it means the absolute world to me.

 

From one Cushie to another... Lets do this!!!!



Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 18

While I was being diagnosed with Cushing's Disease and going through months of testing, I was also training to run my first half marathon. In December of 2012, I flew to Las Vegas and ran the "Strip at Night". Keeping in the back of my mind that I could have Cushing's and I could have a pituitary tumor, I did not let that hold me back. I wanted to finish that race and prove to myself that anything is possible. I put a lot of hard work into training for the half marathon that I just couldn't let myself down.
It was just a few days after returning home that I had my MRI scan which revealed the tumor on my pituitary and once I figured this out and met with my Neurosurgeon, I knew surgery was just around the corner. I had to mentally prepare myself for this as I knew I had a long road and journey ahead of me.
The end of February 2013 is when I had my pituitary surgery and they removed the tumor. Knowing this is somewhat of a relief, but keeping in mind I will still be monitored closely.
I have been told to return back to life as if normal, although a lot easier said then done.
I registered for a number of races this summer, two which are half marathons. I did this because I want to prove to myself that anything is possible and also this gives me something to work towards. Now that I have been cleared by my doctor to return back to normal I have slowly started doing small work outs, walking and a little bit of swimming.
Yesterday, I went for my first "run" and let me tell you. It was probably the hardest thing (emotionally) for me to do. I could barely run a block without feeling exhausted. This is quiet the change considering 5 months ago I ran a half marathon.
I realize that I am still healing emotionally and physically and I have a long road ahead of me, and I also realize that things just cant change over night. This being said, I will admit this is extremely difficult to deal with. This is really upsetting for me but I do understand that its hard for others to understand as most people don't realize how hard this journey is emotionally. Physically it is exhausting and clearly everyone can see what impact it has on a person but the one thing is the emotional side. There is a lot more behind this disease that no one can see.
I am writing about this because I don't want anyone to give up on their dreams, as I will not give up on mine! I will work hard towards my goals even tho I know they may take longer then they should, I will succeed...
If your suffering from Cushing's or any other disease, or even if your healthy...
Believe in yourself and never, ever give up!

Dream big! <3

Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 17

I'm about a week behind!! I went away for the weekend and got a little side tracked with some wedding activities!! :D

Anxiety

 

My journey with Cushing's Disease has had many ups and downs. There were days where I didn't think I could handle it anymore, and days that seemed so easy. Well I guess truthfully no day was really "easy", I seemed to be facing some kind of battle each day. Like I have said in previous posts... In ways I am Thankful to be dealt this card. No one wants to be sick but I believe only those who can handle it are given the battle to fight.

One side effect that I have been fighting for a long time is anxiety. Some people who suffer with Cushing's Disease also suffer with anxiety.

 

Anxiety: Also called angst or worry, is a psychological and physiological state characterized by somatic, emotional, cognitive and behavioural components. It is the displeasing feeling of fear or concern. The root meaning of the word anxiety is 'to vex or trouble', in either presence or absence of psychological stress, anxiety can create feelings of fear, worry, uneasiness, and dread. It is also associated with feelings of restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, and muscle tension. However, anxiety should not be confused with fear, which is more of a dreaded feeling about something which appears intimidating and can overcome an individual. Anxiety is considered to be a normal reaction to a stressor. It may help an individual to deal with a demanding situation by prompting them to cope with it. However, when anxiety becomes overwhelming, it may fall under the classification of an anxiety disorder. As mentioned earlier, anxiety can be confused with fear. However, fear is concrete, (a real danger) whereas anxiety is the paranoia of something out there that seems menacing but may not be menacing, and, indeed, may not even be out there.

 

I copied the above definition from the internet just so there would be a better understanding of just exactly what anxiety is. To me anxiety is one of the scariest things I deal with on a daily basis. It's something that I can not control, and trust me if I could control it... I would. It is one thing I really wish I could grab a hold of because it is something that doesn't only effect me but it effects everyone around me. The constant worrying, crying for no reason, panicking over stuff that really isn't even happening. There is no reason that anyone around me should have to deal with this.

 

In my process of recovering from surgery I am trying to make myself healthy again as well, eating healthy and dealing with weight loss. Anxiety is also something that I am hoping to overcome.

 

:)

Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 11