Second Half Marathon

My second half marathon...

Last month I ran my second half marathon! Not nearly ready, with very little training I ran this race to prove to everyone that anything is possible. I could have been sitting on the couch feeling bad for myself but instead I got up and ran my second half marathon only 5 months post surgery.

Jaylee and I morning of the race!

Group of girls I ran with, just moments before race time.

 

This race was more difficult then my first half but I was determined to finish...



4.1km to go! Just about hit the point of exhaustion here!

 

as I had to walk the majority of the last 4.1 km, my mother in law Randie Mulligan came to meet me about the last km of the race to run through the finish line.

 

FINISHED!

 

I cant stress enough how much I encourage everyone to get out there and just go for their dreams. Anything is possible if you just put your mind to it. I still struggle everyday with running and exercise. I get tired easily but I just try! :)

I am currently working towards my third half marathon in just over two weeks, however I may have to cut back and just run 10km but that's OK! I will strive to do my best for Disney 2014 and run an even better race. 

I know its extremely difficult for even those who are close to me to understand what Im going through but I know that in time everything will be OK, so I just have to understand them. It truly is a struggle everyday to "pretend" to feel perfect when in reality I don't but I still put a smile on my face and treat each day as a gift.

 

 

Happy Running!!!

 

SEAWHEEZE - VANCOUVER 2013



 





... recovery cont.

Its been just about 5 months exactly since I had my pituitary tumor removed and I must say its been a long road. I have been feeling much better but there has been a lot of ups and downs along the way. I'm still currently taking the steroids and trying to slowly wean myself off of them so hopefully with time I can come off them completely but for now they are part of my life and I accept that!! :)

I have been doing a Military style Bootcamp and FINALLY for the first time in 2 years I am getting the results I want to see. I just need to keep focused and not let anyone or anything get in the way of my goals and dreams. Let me tell you, watching the number on the scale get smaller is the BEST thing this girl could ask for right now!

There are still days that I don't feel myself but that's expected with my recovery. This has impacted my life emotionally in a large way. Every time I think about what "I went through", it makes me realize how much I grew as a person. From now on it will only make me stronger and I know in the end it will all be worth the pain and the struggle.

As well... 2 weeks ago I completed my first 5km of the year! It was a fun one but a great way to start! And who said Cushie's couldn't run!?

 

 

To all the other Cushie's out there... whether your still going through the process of all the tests, diagnosed, waiting for surgery, in recovery or struck with this again...

DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So many times I wanted to give up along this journey because I was so lost and didn't know what to do but deep down I knew somewhere there would be happiness with all of this and now I am so happy that all of this happened to me and I feel so blessed. There were many times I would wonder "WHY ME?!" but now I know this happened to me for a reason!

I am registered for 2 more races this summer which are both half marathons! If I can do this anyone can so please don't give up on your dreams!

I also just want to say a big THANK YOU to my Mother in law, Randie!! She inspires me to run everyday!! I did Color Me Rad with her (see below) as well, I will be completing my other races with her. We even registered for DISNEYLAND in January!!!!!! I am so excited for this!!

I will continue to write about my journey along the way...
From One Cushie to another, STAY STRONG!!! :D

Gail *xox*

Recovery

Recovery...

Recovery is a lot longer and a lot slower then I ever thought it would be.

Today I am exactly three months from my pituitary surgery.

 

I knew the road would be long but I think I expected a little to much. I knew I wouldn't feel right and I wouldn't just drop the weight that I gained but I honestly thought things would happen a lot faster then they are. That's O.K. When they say you feel like a wet noodle after, that's EXACTLY what I feel like.

Since my surgery:

I have been to emergency with extreme nausea caused by steroid withdrawals, and also with high blood pressure problems.

I have been up and down with my steroid doses.

I have seen an eye doctor twice to make sure they didn't hit any nerves while doing the surgery.

I have seen my Neurosurgeon for post op follow-up.

I have seen my ENT to get my nasal passage way cleaned out, I will continue to see him.

I have been to my family doctor for follow-ups.

I have also been to my Endocrinologist numerous times. I will continue to see her for a while to come. I have to be closely monitored with my blood work and growth hormones.

*Fingers crossed they stay normal!!* 

 

One thing I took on myself is acupuncture, I have only been to 2 sessions so far and I feel like they are helping with my healing process. I was a nervous to try this at first but having a couple needs is nothing compared to having blood taken or better yet, having someone dig in your nose. Acupuncture is something I believe I will continue for years to come :)

 

I still cant believe this whole journey and what has come to me. Everything has happened so fast but it has also been such a long road. I now know that this is something that is going to be with me for the rest of my life and it is something I have learned to accept.

 

I'm not going to let this get in the way of any dreams or goals I may have.

The tumor had control of my life for so many years that now its my turn, Its my turn to take control of everything that has happened and show everyone out there especially those suffering with Cushing's Disease that you can get past this awful disease and you can be exactly who you want to be. My dream is to do just that! <3

Cushing's Disease took so much from me and hurt me in so many ways that I cant even describe. Cushing's Disease doesn't change who you are on the inside but in some cases like mine it changes you on the outside. Cushing's Disease is just a little evil part of a persons life that changes the appearance in the most terrible ways. Everyone now a days judges a person on their outer beauty but its the inner beauty which matters the most. Cushing's Disease brought out the complete worst in me, from my appearance to my mood swings to my anxiety and much more.

There are some pretty amazing people who have stood beside me through every part of this, even before knowing I had this disease. Those who have stood by my side before, during and after are my rocks. Its those people who help me every single day.

 

This whole process has had a huge effect on my life and inside hurts me so much. It has hurt every single day. Getting the diagnoses hurt, although finally having an answer was so nice. The process leading up to surgery and even after. There are even times now that inside I can not describe the pain that I feel. Emotionally, Cushing's destroyed me! No more, I cant deal with the hurt anymore and now ...I will destroy Cushing's.

I am finally starting to feel normal again so its now my time.  

 

I also want to Thank everyone in my life who has been there supporting me every step of the way. Everyone who has helped me out with my healing. I know I already sent out a Thank you but I thought I would mention it again as it means the absolute world to me.

 

From one Cushie to another... Lets do this!!!!



Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 18

While I was being diagnosed with Cushing's Disease and going through months of testing, I was also training to run my first half marathon. In December of 2012, I flew to Las Vegas and ran the "Strip at Night". Keeping in the back of my mind that I could have Cushing's and I could have a pituitary tumor, I did not let that hold me back. I wanted to finish that race and prove to myself that anything is possible. I put a lot of hard work into training for the half marathon that I just couldn't let myself down.
It was just a few days after returning home that I had my MRI scan which revealed the tumor on my pituitary and once I figured this out and met with my Neurosurgeon, I knew surgery was just around the corner. I had to mentally prepare myself for this as I knew I had a long road and journey ahead of me.
The end of February 2013 is when I had my pituitary surgery and they removed the tumor. Knowing this is somewhat of a relief, but keeping in mind I will still be monitored closely.
I have been told to return back to life as if normal, although a lot easier said then done.
I registered for a number of races this summer, two which are half marathons. I did this because I want to prove to myself that anything is possible and also this gives me something to work towards. Now that I have been cleared by my doctor to return back to normal I have slowly started doing small work outs, walking and a little bit of swimming.
Yesterday, I went for my first "run" and let me tell you. It was probably the hardest thing (emotionally) for me to do. I could barely run a block without feeling exhausted. This is quiet the change considering 5 months ago I ran a half marathon.
I realize that I am still healing emotionally and physically and I have a long road ahead of me, and I also realize that things just cant change over night. This being said, I will admit this is extremely difficult to deal with. This is really upsetting for me but I do understand that its hard for others to understand as most people don't realize how hard this journey is emotionally. Physically it is exhausting and clearly everyone can see what impact it has on a person but the one thing is the emotional side. There is a lot more behind this disease that no one can see.
I am writing about this because I don't want anyone to give up on their dreams, as I will not give up on mine! I will work hard towards my goals even tho I know they may take longer then they should, I will succeed...
If your suffering from Cushing's or any other disease, or even if your healthy...
Believe in yourself and never, ever give up!

Dream big! <3

Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 17

I'm about a week behind!! I went away for the weekend and got a little side tracked with some wedding activities!! :D

Anxiety

 

My journey with Cushing's Disease has had many ups and downs. There were days where I didn't think I could handle it anymore, and days that seemed so easy. Well I guess truthfully no day was really "easy", I seemed to be facing some kind of battle each day. Like I have said in previous posts... In ways I am Thankful to be dealt this card. No one wants to be sick but I believe only those who can handle it are given the battle to fight.

One side effect that I have been fighting for a long time is anxiety. Some people who suffer with Cushing's Disease also suffer with anxiety.

 

Anxiety: Also called angst or worry, is a psychological and physiological state characterized by somatic, emotional, cognitive and behavioural components. It is the displeasing feeling of fear or concern. The root meaning of the word anxiety is 'to vex or trouble', in either presence or absence of psychological stress, anxiety can create feelings of fear, worry, uneasiness, and dread. It is also associated with feelings of restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, and muscle tension. However, anxiety should not be confused with fear, which is more of a dreaded feeling about something which appears intimidating and can overcome an individual. Anxiety is considered to be a normal reaction to a stressor. It may help an individual to deal with a demanding situation by prompting them to cope with it. However, when anxiety becomes overwhelming, it may fall under the classification of an anxiety disorder. As mentioned earlier, anxiety can be confused with fear. However, fear is concrete, (a real danger) whereas anxiety is the paranoia of something out there that seems menacing but may not be menacing, and, indeed, may not even be out there.

 

I copied the above definition from the internet just so there would be a better understanding of just exactly what anxiety is. To me anxiety is one of the scariest things I deal with on a daily basis. It's something that I can not control, and trust me if I could control it... I would. It is one thing I really wish I could grab a hold of because it is something that doesn't only effect me but it effects everyone around me. The constant worrying, crying for no reason, panicking over stuff that really isn't even happening. There is no reason that anyone around me should have to deal with this.

 

In my process of recovering from surgery I am trying to make myself healthy again as well, eating healthy and dealing with weight loss. Anxiety is also something that I am hoping to overcome.

 

:)

Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 11

Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 10

Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 9

Understanding the Battle...

 

The battle has got to be the hardest part about having Cushing's Disease. Everyone around you thinks its just that easy, the tumor is gone and now everything should go right back to normal. Well NO!!! Absolutely not.. I almost feel worse ever since the tumor has been removed. I know that its going to be a long road and eventually everything will go back to normal but in time. Everything takes time and its not just going to happen over night. I'm still healing and I'm still trying to balance steroids, and when the times comes to make a change its going to take A LOT of work. A lot of determination! I am determined to make a change, to make a difference and get my life back but I just think its important for me to tell everyone that its just not that simple.

I guess this is just me letting out frustration, its frustrating when people look at me different. I don't want to look the way I do, but I got blessed with this "ugly" disease and its just something that I'm going to have to deal with.
Try, just try for one second to walk a mile in my shoes and experience everything I've been through and then tell me its easy!

I will get through this, I'm determined!!

I will beat Cushing's Disease but it will forever be a part of "me" and who I am.

I will show the world that just because a disease made me "ugly" doesn't mean I'm not beautiful on the inside, we're all beautiful on the inside. You just cant see it.

And trust me.. I will also show this "ugly" disease just exactly what UGLY is.

 

Bring it!

 

 



Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 8

 

 

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY  DR. HARVEY CUSHING!!!

 

Today is Cushing's Awareness Day!! Wear your ribbons, cushing's colors (Blue and Yellow) and t-shirts to spread awareness about this rare disease. Get talking to anyone who will listen!

Today is not just the only day to raise awareness, everyday is a good day!

 

Dr. Harvey Cushing was an American neurosurgeon. A pioneer of brain surgery, he was the first person to describe Cushing's syndrome. He is often called the "father of modern neurosurgery".

 

To read more about Dr. Harvey Cushing please visit:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harvey_Williams_Cushing

 

From one Cushie to another... Happy Cushing's Awareness Day!!



Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 7

Why I'm Thankful?!

 

 

There are so many reasons why I'm Thankful for this whole experience. It is something that is going to be part of my life forever.

It's not that I'm thankful for having a disease, I am Thankful for what it has taught me. It has been about 5 months since my diagnoses and I have been on a rocky road ever since, but I have learned so much along the way. I have learned not to judge others, you never know what's happening to them underneath everything. You don't know why they look the way they do, or walk the way they walk. I have learned who truly is there and who is not. I have learned the meaning of LIFE!!!

 

Life is something that I think we all take for granted at some point in our lives. Its something we are so lucky to have. Everyday I am so Thankful to wake up and I am so Thankful for everything life has given me.

 

I'm Thankful for friends.

I'm Thankful for family.

I'm Thankful for LOVE.

I'm Thankful for life.

 

There is so much to be Thankful for!!

 

Thank You!

Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 6

Yikes!! Due to the weekend, I'm a couple blogs behind!

MRI

 

An MRI played a large role in my diagnoses of Cushing's Disease, it was an MRI machine which found the tumor growing on my pituitary gland.

 

MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) is a medical imaging technique used in radiology to visualize internal structures of the body in detail. MRI makes use of the property of nuclear magnetic resonance to image nuclei of atoms inside the body.

 

An MRI scanner is a device in which the patient lies within a large, powerful magnet where the magnetic field is used to align the magnetization of some atomic nuclei in the body, and radio frequency magnetic fields are applied to systematically alter the alignment of this magnetization. This causes the nuclei to produce a rotating magnetic field detectable by the scanner, and this information is recorded to construct an image of the scanned area of the body. Magnetic field gradients cause nuclei at different locations to process at different speeds, which allows spatial information to be recovered using fourier analysis of the measured signal. By using gradients in different directions, 2D images or 3D volumes can be obtained in any arbitrary orientation.

 

MRI provides good contrast between the different soft tissues of the body, which makes it especially useful in imaging the brain, muscles, the heart, and cancers compared with other medical imaging techniques such as computed tomography (CT) or X-rays. Unlike CT scans or traditional X-rays, MRI does not use ionizing radiation.

 

 

 



 

 

 

 



Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 5

Pituitary Gland

 

 

The pituitary gland is an endocrine gland about the size of a pea, weighing about 5 grams. It is located at the base of the brain and rests in a small bony cavity covered by a dural fold. The pituitary gland secretes 9 hormones that regulate homeostasis. The pituitary gland is made up of three lobes: anterior, intermediate and posterior.

 

The anterior pituitary synthesizes and secretes the following important endocrine hormones:

Growth hormone

Thyroid-stimulating hormone

Adrenocorticotropic hormone

Beta-endorphin

Prolactin

Luteinizing hormone

Follice-stimulating hormone

Melanocyte-stimulating hormone
These hormones are released from the anterior pituitary under the influence of hypothalamus. Hypothalamus hormones are secreted to the anterior lobe by way of a special capillary system.

The posterior lobe develops as an extension of the hypothalamus. The posterior pituitary stores and secretes the following important endocrine hormones:
Oxytocin
Antidiuretic hormone

Hormones secreted from the pituitary gland help control the following body processes:
Growth
Blood Pressure
Some parts of pregnancy and childbirth
Breast milk production
Sex organ function
Thyroid gland function
Metabolism
Water regulation
Water balance
Temperature regulation
Pain relief

Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 4

How I found out I have Cushing's...

 

WEIGHT! It's pretty much that simple.

 

I started dating my boyfriend in November 2009, I never really thought much of my weight as I weighed 135 pounds and have always been around that weight. I was always active but never really worked out and could pretty much eat whatever I wanted.

This was one of my more serious relationships and we pretty much started living together right from the beginning. About a year later I started putting weight on but I mean I just blamed this on being in a "comfortable" relationship. You always hear about people starting relationships and putting on a little bit of weight and well I guess I just thought this was normal. I did start to get a little concerned so I started working out and then over the next two years I was on and off with personal trainers and even diet coaches. I would lose motivation at times but I would get right back on track. It was 2012 where I noticed the most weight gain and the summer of that year I started training for a half marathon where I figured if I ate right I would lose the weight for sure. This was complete oposite and I knew there was something wrong. Despite all the training, I was still gaining weight.

Meeting with my Endocrinologist changed my life forever. I originally met up with her so she could properly teach me about portion sizes but she knew there was something up. She started doing all kinds of blood work and urine test and sure enough in December 2012 is when I was officially diagnosed with Cushing's Disease. My cortisol levels were through the roof and an MRI confirmed a tumor was growing on my pituitary gland. I also have a lot more side effects (most of the ones that come with Cushing's), but weight is the one that really stood out for me.

Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 3

Neurosurgeon

 

Neurosurgery is the medical term used in the prevention, diagnosis, treatment and rehabilitation of disorders that effect a portion of the nervous system. This includes the brain, spinal cord, peripheral nerves and extra-cranial cerebrovascular system.

 

A neurosurgeon played a very large part of my Cushing's Disease experience. My Cushing's was a tumor growing on my pituitary gland, it was this tumor that was causing so much stress in my life and so many problems. By removing this tumor, it gives me a chance to get my life back and hopefully I can live a new life Cushing's free. Without the help of a Neurosurgeon none of this would be possible. My experience with my Neurosurgeon was nothing but amazing, there are no words to explain how Thankful I am to have someone like him in my life. His confidence alone is something I am so grateful for.

I had my first follow-up appointment with my Neurosurgeon today and he says everything is looking great. His final words were "Continue to live your life as if nothing ever happened!". It was so amazing to hear this, to hear how simple it was for him to say it. I could tell that he really enjoyed his job and it made him happy to be able to help others.

I hope everyone dealing with Cushing's Disease gets the privilege of having a Neurosurgeon as amazing as mine.

 

Here's to a new me... Thanks to my Neurosurgeon!

 

:)



Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 2

There is no real way to describe how devestating Cushing's is, here are some words to help describe the "cloud" I have been living!

 



Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013 - Day 1

Cushing's Disease Awareness

Why I decided to take part in the Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge?...

For the past 3 years I have been stuck in a world of wondering, this has got to be one of the worst feelings. Always wondering why?? or whats wrong?? Searching for an answer I just couldn't find.

So many tests were done and just always mistaken for something else, who would have ever imagined a brain tumor. It is such a rare disease that is often mis-diagnosed so participating in this challenge I hope to educate others of Cushing's Disease and maybe save the next person years of grief.

It is something awful, but it is something awful that has changed my life in many many ways. In a strange way I am Thankful!! I believe I was given this "bump in the road" because I could handle it. I believe I was given this so I CAN educate people about Cushing's. I believe I was given this for many reasons. It has made me a stronger person and still this is all new to me as it is a learning experience for me as well. I still have so much to learn about this myself and I will continue to grow and I continue this journey.

Now follow my blog for the next month so we can learn together as a group...

I am on the road to a fight against Cushing's Disease and if you are to I would love to hear your story, so please contact me at: mylifeasacushie@gmail.com

Looking forward to hearing from all the other "Cushie's" out there and following their blogs as well this month!!

From one Cushie to another... Lets stay strong and fight this horrible disease together!!

Happy Cushing's Awareness Month!!



Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge 2013!

With recently being diagnosed with Cushing's Disease, this year I decided to participate in the Annual Cushing's Awareness Blog Challenge. Cushing's Awareness Day is on April 8th, so that is why the blog challenge is done in April. Each day in April I will blog about something different related to Cushing's Disease and hopefully you all come back each day as I post something new so we can all learn and become aware about this rare disease.

I will be looking forward to April 1st!! :)



Recovery!

Finally, I arrived home Monday afternoon and I don't think there any words to describe how happy I was. Like I said before, surgery was finally over and I could finally get myself back on the road to health, a new me, a new start!!
As we drove up to the house I was getting so excited because I knew the second Scout saw me he would be so happy. I missed him so so much!! I walked into the house and there he was jumping around, I couldn't have been happier. I was finally home, finally got to be with my little man and I had a whole house FULL of flowers. Thank you so much to everyone who came with flowers and gifts, I couldn't appreciate it more. :)
I had so much support at this point it was a little over-whelming. One of my close friends had even organized my suppers to be delivered for the next two weeks so I could get some much needed rest. This was just amazing. Thank You Julie so much for putting this together and also Thank You everyone who was involved in the dinner making, Bradey and I appreciate this so much and it was all delish!

The following Monday I had a follow-up appointment with my Endocrinologist, she was very please with how everything was looking. Basically most important was getting my cortisol levels back on track. This is going to take some time but that's understandable with how much they had dropped and how much my body was used to. I was told to slowly wein myself off them so then hopefully my pituitary would start functioning on its own again.
I also had an eye appointment with an eye specialist to make sure there was no damage done to my optic nerves during surgery. Everything looks great!! :)

That Friday I had a follow-up appointment with my ENT surgeon. I was actually pretty excited for this considering I could not blow my nose since surgery and I couldn't even sneeze. This was terrible, (haha) so I could not wait  to see him because he was going to be cleaning me out. When we arrived at the appointment he did a lot of cleaning which did not feel the greatest, and he looked at my scar which he said was coming along fine. I felt much better after this appointment because I could breathe through my nose again.

I did return to work the Monday after (I believe this would be March 11th), however I was trying to wein myself off my steroids so I wasn't feeling the best. Everyday was different, it was a roller coaster of feelings and emotions. I actually even ended up having to go to emergency one night because I just wasn't feeling right. Turns out, I was going through steroid withdrawal. What a terrible feeling! Anyways, all I could basically do at this point was to rest and take care of myself as best I could. I only worked this week part-time because of this, I figured my health was pretty important.

On March 20th I had two more follow-up appointments, one with my Endocrinologist and one with my ENT surgeon. At first I went to meet up with my Endocrinologist and she said the results from my blood work looked great. Some things were back to normal and other things were getting back on track to being normal. This was awesome!! She also told me they did a biopsy on the tumor and I now am 100% diagnosed with Cushing's Disease. (Well hopefully now the little bugger never decides to grow back so I don't have to deal with it again.)
After my appointment with the Endocrinologist I went to the ENT office. I wasn't looking forward to the visit this time because I knew what to expect and it wasn't the best feeling. It was nice to get my nose cleaned out again tho because I still wasn't aloud to blow my nose or sneeze. He said my visit this time was almost like day and night compared to last time. I was healing up just the way he wanted me to. He also told me that I could start doing very light activity which was nice because I wanted to start swimming or doing something to get moving again.

There were still some funky things happening with my smell and the way I was feeling so I thought maybe it was a good idea to get in contact with my Neurosurgeon just in case since I didn't see him for another two weeks. There are no words to explain how Thankful I am to have such an amazing person as my Neurosurgeon. Him and his staff are so helpful and I am in contact via e-mail with him so if I have any concerns I can deal with him directly. He actually sent me for an emergency EEG, but he reassured me not to worry as he thinks it will turn out to be nothing serious.

The days are still a roller coaster, but I am starting to feel much better. I am back at work and now just to slowly get back into things, I started swimming and already I think its making me feel a bit better. I also started to wein myself off my steroids again in hopes this time I don't feel as terrible doing it.
I have two more follow-up appointments next week, which one is my Neurosurgeon. It will be my first follow-up appointment with him and I'm just so excited to see him so I can Thank him for everything he has done for me. Really he has given me a second chance at life and I don't think there are any words that can describe how Thankful I am.

It's going to be a long road but I think now I am ready, ready for a new adventure and a new ME!! With that being said I believe I was given this for a reason. I CAN handle it and I WILL!!! It's amazing what a little faith and positive thinking can do. Sometimes I consider myself lucky, things could have been much worse and also now I have something to look back on and I hope someday I can teach others about Cushing's Disease and everything I had learned on my adventure. There is more adventure ahead of me as well as I am still learning myself.

Here's to the road of recovery...

Surgery...

Well its been a little over a month now since I had my surgery, I have been trying to rest so I do apologize for the delay in blog!!

Heres my story...

Thursday February 21st was the day of my procedure, I was to be at Foothills hospital at 5:30am to check-in. Bradey, mom and myself left town around 4:45am with barely any sleep. I was way to excited, scared, nervous, I cant even explain the feeling I had that morning as we were on the way to the hospital. When we arrived I checked in and headed up to the third floor where I had to change into my hospital clothes. Everything happened so fast.. I was changing and the next thing I knew the porter was there to take me to the main building where I was to get my operation. YIKES!!!

They wheeled me through some big doors, mom and Bradey at my side, and there it was just on my right hand side the room that everything was going to take place. At this point I was pretty nervous (who wouldn't be!!!) and the MRI technician came up to me and started to explain how I would have to go for an MRI before hand just so they could see everything in a clear picture before they started. While she was explaining everything we were awaiting the arrival of the surgery team. The ENT surgeon, my Neurosurgeon, Anesthesiologist and the rest of the team which I am unsure how many there were. I believe the first person to arrive was my ENT surgeon, he was incredible, introduced himself and asked if I had any questions. He also informed me that I would not have any packing in my nose after the surgery, this made me so happy! The next person to come introduce himself was my anesthesiologist which whom I was so nervous to meet because being put to sleep was one of my biggest worries. He talked to me about my fears and definitely made me feel more comfortable.
Then, my neurosurgeon, I knew the moment I saw him walk through the doors that I would become very emotional and everything would turn into a reality. Then it happened... there he was standing over my bed. So many emotions were going through my head, everything was now so real and at any time I would be wheeled into the room to start the procedure that would essentially change my life. It was so amazing to know how calm he was and how amazing everyone there was. I couldn't be more thankful. My neurosurgeon asked me if I had any questions and also informed that he didn't think I needed an MRI, he just wanted to get started and he felt confident that nothing had changed since my last one.
I was still pretty anxious so my anesthesiologist offered to give me something to calm me down, I accepted at this point. With my mom and Bradey by my side, the anestegolost inserted my main IV in my hand. I don't know what he put in that IV but I was instantly relaxed. What felt like only seconds later I was saying Goodbye to both my mom and Bradey as they began to wheel me through the big operating doors. Again I can not express how amazing this whole team was, the nurse offered to hold my hand until I was asleep, they passed me the oxygen mask to hold onto my face and the very last thing I remember is my anesthesiologist telling me how amazing I was doing. OUT!! OPERATION TIME!

The very next thing I remember was in the recovery room and it took me awhile to wake up completely. I would come in and out of it, the nurse was asking me the same questions over and over again making sure I was functioning properly and there were no injuries to my brain. After being closely monitored they then transferred me to the 11th floor where I would then spend the next 4 days. When I arrived on the 11th floor, I was greeted by my mom and Bradey. As soon as I saw them I was so happy, everything finally over. I just had to face recovery and then get on the road to my new life.. I could finally start living again and hopefully start to feel like myself sooner then later.
I don't think I was in to much pain but I think that's because they were giving me doses of morphine and gravol, it was either the morphine or anesthetic that made me very sick. Then a couple hours after just sitting there they called me down to the basement level to do a post-op MRI. My dad and brother arrived just in time to come down with me and my mom and Bradey headed home after a very long 16 hour day.

Friday morning I was waken up by that mornings surgery team for a post-op update. Everything went very well, this was such a relief to hear. The surgeon was very happy with how things went. I also got the results from my post op MRI and everything looks very well. The pituitary gland may have been swollen but that's expected after being operated on. After the surgery team came, a team of Endocrinologist's came in the room and explained to me that my levels dropped drastically and they were very happy with how my blood work looked. My Cortisol levels were at levels of over 2,000 and by Friday morning had dropped to 106, because there was such a huge drop I was extremely nauseous. I knew with such a drastic change that it was going to be a long road of recovery and I would have to take steroid replacements for a long time until my body started to produce cortisol on its own again.
The next couple days were a roller coaster. The headaches would come and go, sickness would come and go, vitals every 4 hours, blood being drawn twice a day or more, having to pee in a hat and have it monitored after they took out my catheter, by the time Sunday came I was so ready to go home.
I had a room full of flowers which was an amazing feeling to know so many people were thinking of me and I was not alone. Not only did I have a hospital room full of flowers but I knew at home I had a house full waiting for me too.
Saturday I finally got out of bed and went for a walk which was really nice. I did start to feel better after I got moving. Saturday and Sunday I would get up and walk the hallway of floor 11. This was my excitement, however Sunday afternoon Bradey took me down to the main floor so I could get some fresh air but I still wasn't aloud to go home.

When Monday morning came around I was hoping the nurse would come in and say I could go home,  I had to wait until afternoon to get released but it was so nice when she finally said I was going to be going home and I could finally sleep in my own bed. I mean, things could be much worse and I am thankful to only have had to stay 4 nights there but it was a little longer then I thought and what I was told. I guess its good that I was left in good hands tho. :)

Bradey arrived around 10am that morning all ready to take me home,

Now, the road to recovery...

countdown...

As months turn into weeks and weeks turn into days, those days are now turned into hours!

I am officially hours away from the procedure that may change my life forever.. My emotions are blank but I just have to stay positive. I have been a ball of emotions and honestly I can't even find the proper words to describe exactly how I am feeling but I do have such amazing support from so many people. Between friends and family I couldn't be more thankful right now. It really means a lot to me.

Just a week ago I met with an anesthesiologist for my pre-operation. Meeting with her really put my mind at ease about a lot of things I was nervous for which is good. She explained everything into detail and told me step by step what was going to happen. She is not the same anesthesiologist that will be helping me out tomorrow but she assured me that I am in really good hands.

I will keep positive thoughts in this journey and tomorrow I will beat Cushing's Disease once and for all.. I will regain my strength and get back the life that has been robbed from me the past 2 years. I will also teach the awareness of Cushing's Disease because it truly is awful and if I can help just one person then that's what is important. There is so much about this journey that I wish I could change but I believe I was given this obstacle to help others, so that is what I will do!

Since I found out about my surgery I have registered for two 5km races, one 10km race and two half marathons! :) I have a lot to look forward too this summer.

Positive thoughts and Positive prays!

I will write again as soon as I am feeling better!
(So you will hear about my surgery experience very soon!!)

Lotsa Love,

Gail

Update!!

Well, First off I just wanna say Thank You one more time because everyones kind words mean so much to me. I am so blessed to have so many amazing people in my life. <3

Anyways, I feel like its time for an update since my first post!

When I last seen my Endocrinologist (the same day I got my diagnoses), I was yet again sent away to do more tests. She wanted to make sure there were no more tumors growing anywhere else in my body. For the next couple of weeks I went for X-Rays and more blood work. 
A week ago (January 16th), I was headed back into the doctors office to find out my results. No more tumors!!!! This was such a nice relief, as I was getting a little worried. 

Since the day I met with my Neurosergeon I have been waiting for a phone call to tell me when my surgery would be taking place. Each and every time I would hear my phone ring, my heart would almost skip a beat in hopes that it would be the Foothills. 
On January 16th as I was walking up the stairs into the doctors office, my phone rang. This was it!! The phone call that would set the date to change my life. It was Foothills hospital, telling me the details to my surgery date. Surgery was set for the end of February and I was set up to have a pre-operation phone call just two days later. 
This was a little overwhelming, I knew the phone call was coming and I also knew there would soon be a surgery date, but to have the date now set, made everything so much more real. 

Two days later, I recieved another phone call from the pre-admissions at Foothills hospital. This phone call was a little overwhelming as well as they went through everything. A lot of question and answers. The nurse explained to me exactly what would happen the day of surgery and she also went over all the prep for the days leading up to my surgery. 
There are some small concerns, so I will have to go in a week before my surgery to meet with a anesthesiologist to go over a few things. 

Each day that goes by is still a struggle, there are still times when I look in the mirror and I don't see myself. I see the disease! The most important thing for me right now is to stay positive. 
Everything is happening so fast, this I am so thankful for. Soon... In just four weeks this nightmare will be over and I will get my life back. I will fight through each day, one at a time. Now it is time for me to be as healthy as I can be so I can recover to the best of my ability. 
One thing I know, is each day is made so much easier just knowing how much love and how much support I am surrounded by.  
What an amazing feeling!!!:) 

Oh and I almost forgot to add... I registered for my second half marathon this upcoming summer. This motivates me and gives me something to look forward to after recovery! ;)

Thank You

WOW! That's the best way to explain my feelings towards the reaction I recieved from "My First Ever Post". What an overwhelming feeling. I really did not expect that at all, the text messages, comments, prayers and words of encouragement mean so much to me. Getting this response from family, friends and even strangers is just an amazing feeling. There are no words to explain how Thankful I really am.
Thank You Thank You Thank You!!
It is with these words of encouragement that help me each and everyday. 
In the words of my mother "Positive thoughts wins the race!"

Again, Thank you so much to everyone who has been supportive!!
I love you all so much! <3

My First Ever Post...

After two years of constant wondering, I found my answer and thought I would start a blog to document my life and my story. Mainly a way for me to express my feelings and maybe possibly help others who are feeling the same. Reading other people's stories and journeys and realizing I wasn't alone has already helped me cope, so hopefully I can do the same for someone else.

For the past two years I have been dealing with numerous weight and health issues, I just haven't been "myself"! From the constant weight gain, anxiety, insomnia, and many many more health issues. Everyone including my family doctor seemed to have the answer: "Exercise!", "Your over eating!", "Your just comfortable!", "Its all in your head!" Well, they for sure had the last one right.. It is all in my head.
My family doctor had reffered me to an Endocrinologist to teach me "portion control". It was then that I was sent for numerous cortisol tests and blood work. After these tests were coming back abnormal she sent me for an MRI.
It was then on December 17th, 2012 that I heard "You have Cushings!"
The MRI showed a clear image of a tumor growing on my pituitary gland. This for sure wasn't exactly what I was wanting to hear but I was happy to finally have an answer. My life over the past two years finally started to make sense to me. In a way I feel as tho already my Endocrinologist saved my life. It was a constant struggle with weight, I gained 20 pounds in less then a month and now over the two years I am up almost 100 pounds. This isn't normal. While during this time I was exercising and also training for my first ever 1/2 marathon. Which I am proud to say I did accomplish on December 2nd, 2012 in Las Vegas. Considering the amount of training I did and not losing even a pound, I knew there was something wrong.

Everything in my life started to make sense and come together, all the side effects, the constant feeling of feeling drained, the weight, my anxiety, the random panic attacks. Cushing's truly is an ugly disease. Im still not sure how to deal with it, I feel like I have been robbed of my life the past two years. I know I shouldn't feel like this but I do. I mean, I always wanted to feel special but being diagnosed with this rare disease isnt really what I had in mind.

On December 17th, 2012 (the day of my diagnoses), while driving home from my Endo's office, I received a phone call from the Foothills Hospital in Calgary from the Neurosurgery department saying they wanted to meet with me two days later. I couldn't believe it, everything was happening so fast. I never would have imagined even a week prior that I would be on my way to meet with a Neurosurgeon to plan a brain surgery.
I went to my appointment on December 19th, 2012 and Bradey and I met with the surgeon to make a plan. He showed us my MRI and explained how the procedure is going to take place. It was a little overwhelming but I realize this is one of my only options to get rid of this tumor so I can feel "normal" agian. He was extremely nice to the two of us so needless to say I signed his permission to go ahead with the surgery. He works with another man who is an ENT so we just have to wait now for when an available OR time is good for both of them.

I believe I have a long road ahead of me and reading stories from other "Cushie's", I understand this is something that is not to easy to deal with. However, I do know that over time it is all going to be worth it. The tole this awful disease has taken on my life.. It's now time to fight back!!

I have learned a huge lesson just the past couple weeks since my diagnoses, "Never judge someone by what they look like, Its on the inside that matters most!" This is extremely important to me now because I have been made fun of and brought down by even some of the closest people to me. Yes I gained weight but that doesn't change who I am on the inside and I have been judged by so many people about my weight and what I look like now compared to before. You never ever know whats happening to someone emotionally or if they have some medical issue for the way they look. I hope I can teach many people this life lesson, as I know how much it has effected me over the past two years emotionally. I hope to save the next person from the hurt I've felt.

I'm currently just waiting for my phone call to find out when everything will be taking place but I will keep my blog updated!

Much Love,
From one Cushie to another...

Gail



A little information about Cushing's disease:

Cushing's disease refers to a pituitary-dependent cause of Cushing's syndrome: a tumor (adenoma) in the pituitary gland produces large amounts of ACTH, causing the adrenal glands to produce elevated levels of cortisol.

Adenoma is a benign tumor of glandular origin. Adenomas can grow from many organs including the colon, adrenal glands, pituitary gland, thyroid, prostate, etc. Although these growths are benign, over time they may progress to become malignant, at which point they are called adenocarcinomas.